How is that person so perfect? How are they so successful with everything they do and I can’t seem to get anything?  Why did they get the job and not me?

What if I could tell you the single biggest secret to being successful…

Maybe it’s because they have more connections? They had a more privileged upbringing? They’re smarter?

No.

None of these things single handedly define whether you are going to be successful or not. Think of someone who you regard as successful… Mark Zuckerberg, Howard Schultz, Oprah Winfrey. Now pick another. If you contrast and compare the details of their path to success, chances are they have very little in common. But there is one hidden underlying string behind every success…

The secret character trait that features at the very core of every successful person is simple: grit. They never gave up.

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm
– Winston Churchill

When you fail, the first thing you feel is that you aren’t as good as you thought you were. Everyone you told about that job interview now knows that you aren’t good enough. Maybe you’re not cut out for this; you should stop trying.

STOP. You have to forget about everyone else. This is about you. You have to keep moving forward, keep trying and forget the past. No one can believe in you as much as you can believe in yourself. Don’t count on other people to help give you your self-confidence.

J.K. Rowling was a single mum living off welfare when she began writing her first Harry Potter book. When she took her book to publishers, it was rejected on 12 separate occasions. Finally, on her 13th attempt, it got published. Imagine, getting rejected again and again and again. She could’ve given up after the 5th, 10th or even 12th time… But she didn’t. Now her books have set records for the fastest selling books in history with gross sales worth over $450 million.

It is all too common for someone who’s been successful to go on about everything they did right. But the thing they all too easily forget is how many times they failed. Yeah they got that dream job, but only after the other 8 companies turned them down (but who cared about those companies anyway…).

So if things seem to be going wrong, that’s OK. Things don’t go right 99% of the time. But YOU are responsible for making your opportunities to be successful. If you stop now, having not been successful, you will never even have the chance to be successful. You only fail if you give up now. But if you keep trying, keep hitting hard and keep putting yourself out there, your chance of success improves infinitely.

Wayne Gretzky said it best:

You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.

Getting over failure is simple. Have a shower, eat a tub of Ben & Jerry’s – whatever it takes – pick yourself up, put yourself out there again and give it your best shot. There is always a way to turn failure into success. Just go out there and try.

Edit: Some practical advice on this topic from an expert, check out this TED Talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/guy_winch_the_case_for_emotional_hygiene